ok, iapos;m venting and have no intention of offending anyone. Just so thatapos;s said:
it is so strange to me that bobapos;s family doesnapos;t "get together."
iapos;ve just been thinking about it lately since ellen and kyle are in town.. We go see my parents all the time and when uncle john is actually home we hang out with him some, but since ellen and kyle are here, my grandparents came in town and everyone got together at my uncleapos;s house to eat and hang out and just enjoy spending time with people we dont get to see every day.
to me, this is normal. When family members live in town, you see them sometimes--and if people specifically come in town to see family, you go see them.
apparently, with bobapos;s family this is not so. Bob has an aunt and an uncle and a couple cousins who live in champaign.. And who have lived in champaign at least since bobapos;s been alive. He doesnt even see these people once a year. Heapos;s only met his cousins like four or five times in his entire life. They live in the same town not even the same huge city, but champaign now he also has a half-brother who lives in champaign whom he has never met. This is because bobapos;s dad was a horrible dad and the guy (i forget his name) doesnapos;t want to have anything to do with him. So, that makes sense that bob wouldapos;ve never met him. But his aunt and uncle and cousins and parents and siblings all get along great and when they do occasionally get together, they seem fine-- i couldnapos;t find any elephants sitting in the corner of the room and everyone seemed to genuinely be happy to see eachother and fill eachother in on everything thatapos;s happened since they saw eachother last. Bob really enjoys very few people. But his aunt and uncle, he was really happy to see. So it was really strange to me that, since our wedding, bobapos;s parents have been more frequently spending time with bobapos;s aunt and uncle--the fact that they are is great and thinking that maybe our wedding brought family members closer together is really cool but what i dont understand is that theyapos;ve gone over to the aunt and uncleapos;s house four or five times since our wedding.. A couple times because other cousins have been in from out of town.. But not once did they call bob and say hey weapos;re going to sue and johnapos;s tonight for dinner because so-and-so are in town for the night, would you like to come?? we just hear about it a week later when we happen to stop by because bob needs something out of his parentsapos; garage. Thatapos;s just so absurd to me.. If anyone in my family is ever in town, thereapos;s always an email or something letting everyone know whatapos;s going on and theyapos;re invited. The fact that it has happened more than once or twice just seems to strange to me. I mean i dont even know who these people are that are coming in from out of town, but shouldnapos;t they get to hang out with bob too?
so that i really dont understand, but itapos;s really not a big deal to me, because iapos;ve barely met most of bobapos;s family and he doesnapos;t seem to be upsetabout not being told when the rest of the family is getting together (even though i would be if it were my family). But then about a month ago, bobapos;s sister came in town for their momapos;s birthday. We all (me bob, his momdad, his sister, brother and brotherapos;s girlfriend) went out to dinner and had a lovely time.. Then we went back to his parents house and kind of sat around talking waiting for food to settle so we could have a cake that his sister had been raving on about how she made it.. :) finally we decide to eat cake, but his sister starts going on about how her stomach hurts sooooo bad and she cant eat any cake..etc..etc.. Then she and their brother and his girlfriend rush out the door at like 11pm because she NEEDS him to work on her computer and get it fixed asap because he supposedly broke it. I made the mistake of jokingly asking how he broke it if he was fixing it for her (wouldnapos;t she have had to break it in originally?) and she freaks out and yells at everyone and the three of them leave in a hurry because she NEEDS her computer fixed NOW... Finally bob and i go home and a little later i get a drunken text message from bobapos;s sister. This pisses me off a-because she was bitchin and whinin about how her stomach hurt so she couldnapos;t eat cake..sooo how is your stomach okay enough to drink alcohol? and b-because they ran off in a huff to supposedly fix her computer, not to get drunk? and c-because they ran off to hang out and get drunk at their brotherapos;s apartment with his girlfriend and didnt invite us or even tell us. They lied to us like they lied to their parents. It just seemed so rude to me. Like if ellen and kyle and emma ran off to go party without me and bob i would be incredibly sad. Like why are the sister, the brother and the brotherapos;s girlfriend hanging out and bonding by excluding bob and i? i just dont understand it and i was really offended. Of course bob doesnapos;t care, because he says itapos;s always been like that, but to me thatapos;s no reason to put up with it. Then a couple weeks later, a bunch of fish died in bobapos;s parentsapos; pond and it was apparently a really big deal, but no one told us. Not that i care about dead fish in their pond, but it wouldapos;ve been interesting to see 300 dead fish lying on top of the water. Haha but bobs brother and his girlfriend were apparently there and involved in what was going on. But we were again excluded. I hate being excluded... When it comes to "friends" itapos;s annoying, but i dont expect anything from them because theyapos;re selfish and not actual good friends. But when family does it? that just seems so ridiculous to me. It especially annoys me that bobapos;s little brotherapos;s girlfriend can be involved with everyone but weapos;re not. I mean i dont have anything against her personally, it just frustrates me like sheapos;s better than me or something? sorry, should i have been hiding from the police in bobapos;s bedroom? or be living with bob and using all his money even though we break up 8 times a week anyway? why is she so accepted into their family, and neither me nor bob are?? i just do not understand and itapos;s really frustrating to me.
but ah it feels good to get that all out on paper
long story short, i LOVE my family. I LOVE how they have accepted bob as one of us. I LOVE how they love me. I LOVE that ethan likes bob more than me ;) i LOVE that when people come in town we ALL get together and spend time with eachother, no matter our differences. I LOVE that no one uses the "n word." i LOVE that no one is an alcoholic. I LOVE that my dad wants bobapos;s phone number because "sometimes i need to talk to him, not you." i LOVE that when bob isnapos;t with me, everyone wants to know where he is, and when neither of us are there, everyone wants to know where we both are. I LOVE my family. I guess the frustration i have for other people just makes me appreciate MY people more. So i guess i should be thankful... I just feel sad for bob, because if i was him iapos;d be devastated. But somehow he seems to be doing fine. But then again, he is the strongest person i know.
and a couple unrelated endnotes--
i can totally see how people believe in miracles. The other day my leg started hurting really badly and i couldnapos;t stand up, so i sat down and kept trying to bend my knee but it hurt too badly to even move it. Bob came over and was like whatapos;s wrong?? and just put his hand below my knee right where it was hurting and was like here try to move it again and it was literally perfectly fine. I had been crying because it hurt so bad but then i had to laugh because it didnt hurt at all and it was really strange. So, either i had a leg stroke or something and it only lasted a couple minutes, or bob has magical hands. Iapos;m leaning towards magical hands because he can make anything work without explanation. I dont think heapos;s jesus or anything, but i can definitely see how people were in awe of him.
also.. WTFCUBS???? caleb would be so disappointed in you. Ugh.

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